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Do You Pause When Someone Asks: Are You Happily Married?

Kelly Bos

Girl Chat

IS BEING HAPPY TABOO?

I was hanging out with some friends one night and the question was raised... Are you happily married? It was a real question for a real conversation. And so I answered, but there was this pause. I knew a little about the group I was in and a bit about their relationships, and I decided I was in a safe place to answer, and so I did. I told the truth, and the truth was, yes. I added that lately due to some stressful times, we have been a bit hard on each other, but yes we were happy.

It got me thinking about my thinking.

Why the mental pause? I knew the answer. Why did I assess whether I could simply say yes? Why did I add a bit more?

In this case, I felt comfortable with both. However, this direct question on my personal happiness had a feeling like it could be a loaded question in a less familiar situation. It is different then “are you enjoying the training at your work?” It is asking for an assessment on my view of my life, my marriage and even on my spouse. Or at least that is how it can feel.

What does this question conjure up for you?...

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