STOP, COLLABORATE AND LISTEN!
Date night... important, enjoyable and so hard to schedule with those ever multiplying demands of work parenting and more. One of the first things to go under the weight of it all is quality time in our primary relationship and we simply hope it will hang on for a less chaotic time in our life.
Connection is important and it often dawns on me, “I miss my husband” and I know he misses me. I think we can all relate. So why are we not digging deeper and making the time? Busyness, distractions, and tiredness, often due to things we don't need to be doing, perfection we don't need to attain, causing guilt that drives us to despondence. What a horrible driver guilt is. You end up keeping the same over scheduled and overwhelmed life and add in some bad feelings about it. So guiltily you plan date night, but after a challenging week with no sleep or a flurry of after school activities you both agree you are too tired. You want to connect in a meaningful way but when you are struggling to keep it all together, you can't help but think, do we really need to go bowling when my pj's are calling?
In Rachel Macy Stafford's book Hands Free Life she addresses how a distracted and pressured life takes us away from a life of significance, opportunities to live in the moment, and the practice of presence. Rachel gently (seriously reading her book is like receiving an encouraging hug) provides habits that can help you let go, chase your passions and focus on your relationships again.
There is a great quote in the Hand's Free Life by Johann Wolfgang von Goethe, "Things which matter most must never be at the mercy of things which matter least". So when the sacrifices and demands are taking their toll on the most in our lives, I wonder if we are putting the cart before the horse. Despite love and connection being there in our relationship, we are lacking the very desire and motivation for time together, for life even and we are being drained by our chase of the least.