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Why You Should Try the "I Would Love to Experiment"

Kelly Bos


My daughter had a request. I didn't say no, and I didn't say yes. I said these four words: I would love to. Right away her seven year-old eyes sparkled. You see, my no to yes ratio has been really uneven lately with the no's tipping the balance. There is nothing wrong with the word no. As a therapist I often help people use it and I regularly work with my clients on establishing boundaries. The word no can also be an important piece of parenting, but sometimes in the busyness of life it can also become a knee jerk response, a way to mange stress, a way to disengage and the answer or sentiment too commonly given. In fact, sometimes my daughter would say, “I know you are going to say no but...” The good news is that despite all of this, she still asks. She desires my time, my help, my attention, and wants me. I don't want this to ever stop.

I want to spend time with her, to be less busy and less distracted but I was pushing through stressors with my head down. I was trying to manage life while missing out on it. You see our responses, even if counterproductive, have their reasons. Perhaps the stress of my circumstances had made me quick to build walls. In Hands Free Life by Rachel Macy Stafford, Rachel explains the blessing of being in the moment for your family and for yourself and daily getting your priorities straight stating “to give our most precious commodity, the gift of ourselves, we must let go of all that distracts us from what matters most.” I was challenged to give this gift and so I devised a plan...