Relationships is the number one issue Kelly sees in her private practice. No matter how healthy you get on your own, there is always extended family, colleagues, friends and partners that help challenge us to keep growing. Check out this section for articles designed to help with that growth.
"When you loathe not love, this is a huge predictor that the end is near," psychotherapist and relationship expert Kelly Bos, tells Bustle. "The Gottman Institutehas studied signs of a relationship ending and state that contempt, which might show up as a loss of any empathy, showing disrespect, mockery or belittling, is the most serious indicator of a relationships demise."
"Ghosting isn't a particularly direct or courageous way to end a relationship," Kelly Bos, MSW, RSW, a psychotherapist and relationship expert, tells Bustle. It's much better to be honest, and let the other person know you aren't interested, so you can both move on. With that in mind, here are some old-fashioned ways people used to ghost each other back in the day.
"Sometimes being in a relationship is driven by not wanting to miss out," psychotherapist and relationship expert Kelly Bos tells Bustle. "If you find yourself single, or in between relationships, make the most of the time to yourself."
"We all have things about us and personality traits that we can work on," relationship expert and psychotherapist Kelly Bos, MSW, RSW tells Bustle. "Relationships can sometimes highlight areas in which we can grow. When we are on our own, we don't necessarily know that we are a bit controlling with money or that we have some selfish traits, because it is only us. The toothpaste squeezed or rolled is never challenged. The good news is that we can use relationships like a mirror to learn about ourselves, make positive changes, and grow."
Rather than jump into a full-blown friendship right away, it's good to give each other space. It's not easy speaking with someone everyday, then having to cut them out completely, psychotherapist Kelly Bos, MSW, RSW tells Bustle. "However, it is important to take some time to regroup and grow. Couples often fear taking time apart for fear of losing the friendship as well. But fear doesn’t give good advice, and often things can get complicated when the time for healing isn’t taken."
"Although generally people are attracted to people who are similar or perceived as similar to themselves, differences can help a relationship," psychotherapist Kelly Bos, MSW, RSW tells Bustle. "Sometimes it is a matter of seeking balance and enjoying seeing the opposite traits in your partner. An ideal marriage is one in which you grow and learn from each other and these differences, which can be frustrating at times, can highlight strengths and weaknesses and offer an opportunity for self-assessment, change and an appreciation for what your partner brings to the relationship."
With negative self-talk, there's a good chance it's "rooted to insecurities developed earlier in our lives," psychotherapist Kelly Bos, MSW, RSW tells Bustle. "The reason why we are hard on ourselves most commonly is to not repeat the past, however this brow beating makes us feel worse and less likely to make the changes we seek."
"Ditch social media as a measure of what a successful relationship should look like," psychotherapist and relationship expert Kelly Bos tells Bustle. "Remember, people's posts are generally just a highlight reel and often airbrushed. Real relationships have ups and downs and putting pressure on a relationship to be perfect might cause someone to look for something with less pressure and more acceptance."